Growth Stages of a Jalapeño

From today on, until I finish, I will post a new picture of a different growth stage of Jalapeños.  I watched as my Jalapeños have been growing and took pictures of their different growth stages.

The first growth stage of a jalapeño is a white blossom.

¡Yo crecen los Jalapeños!

I Grow Jalapeños!
     This past spring, I bought a Jalapeño seedling.  It looked pretty healthy, but very small and pitiful.  I dug a large hole, filled with with mulch, sand, and homemade, coffee grounds fertilizer, for a realistic, Central-American soil.  I planted the seedling, and kept it watered.  about half way through the summer, I forgot about it.  Near the end of August I walked by it and noticed it was around five times the size it had been upon planting.  I was also surprised to see it covered in blossoms and boasting several plump, green peppers!  I picked one and ate it on the spot. ¡Estuvó muy muy picante!  But not so bad that I needed a glass of milk.
     To get to the point... I grow Jalapeños.  I grew them in my garden, and when the first frost came, I transplanted them into a large pot, and put them by my window in my room. They have been growing fine ever since.

My Bhut Jolokia Death Sauce

     Over the summer, I worked very hard to create a base for a hot sauce.  By base I mean a not very spicy, sauce that would give the hot sauce it's flavor.  I built a fermentation chamber out of a straw, a paper towel, some electric tape, and a mason jar.  I then slaved away at the food processor until I had the perfect sauce.  Mildly spice already, with a hefty cumin taste and a striking smokiness.

I ordered my Bhut Jolokia peppers, which by the way, are the hottest pepper in the world.  A Habeñero pepper runs anywhere between 100,000 and 350,000 scoville units.  Bhut Jolokia peppers average 1,000,000 scoville units.  So you get a basic understanding of how hot they are.

My hot sauce is insane! I finally got the peppers (after having to re-order them) almost a month and a half after ordering them.  People who have put about half a drop of it on the tip of a tooth pick, rolled it on their tongue, and preceded to almost hyperventilate and cry.  So it is not to be messed with.

I used an empty Frank's bottle for my sauce.  This is one of the big bottles though, my hand can barely wrap around the base of the bottle.

Anyone who wants some can shoot me an email at   liammyster1@gmail.com  

I can put it into little glass bottles and such

Those Pictures!

[words coming soon... too morning brain dead to write anything right now...]

Edit: HERE'S THE WORDS!

Every day, except Monday's and sometimes Fridays, I go to NorthEast Harbor after school.  I wonder around, go to the Pine Tree Market, get an Arizona Iced Tea or a coffee, and if the weather is descent or even if it's raining and I don't mind getting wet that day, I Longboard.  I've previously said that I got into longboarding this summer, but never said why I like it.  The explanation is rather simple.  Longboarding is fun!  It's a rush, but also extremely relaxing, carving, almost swooping from curb to curb, sliding your hands on the pavement and hearing the noise it makes... It's just fun, I won't get too philosophical about it.

Midterm Erections! (no typo)

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Midterm Erection
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes 2010 Election March to Keep Fear Alive

THIS IS THE NEW FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! YOU NEED WOT WATCH THIS ENTIRE VIDEO I DONT CAR WHAT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS ARE! WATCH IT!!!!!!!! IT'S FUNNY!!!!!!!!

     Neer the end when he's listing the different metaphors for... ehem... man parts.... but this is still the most awkwardly funny thing in the history of the world.  Post comments!

     and I will get to the longboarding pictures as soon as the opportunity arrives.

NEW WHEELS AND BUSHINGS!

I'm buying the Orangatang Durian YELLOW 75mm 86a wheels for my longboard!  They let you do crazy slides and still grip the road enough to carve from curb to curb.

These wheels are pre broken in so they are ready to go the second I put them on my board! I can't wait to try them out, I will blog post when I do!
As for the bushing, I'm getting Black, 85a, JimZ Speed Bushings.  They are excessively large, so they give the trucks (the part of the longboard they go in) a completely new and unique feel.

That's all for longboarding...

For my bass guitar, I'm getting a new speaker cabinet! this one!

I'm also getting some new strings too!! Woah! this is a very productive week.  I've decided to get everything I wanted to get done for the last two months and just do it all in one go!

And last but certainly not least... I have been trying to find out the name of those toe shoes that are like a barefoot shoe for almost four months now.  Today, in English class, Ms. Meyer was wearing some!!! so I learned what the name of them was and am going to order a pair.  I found them for 75% off!!! only $38.00!!!!!!!!!! they are normally around $120.00 what a score!

I think I will go with this version and color scheme 

That's all for now. Adios!

My Buddy Kyle

     Theres a really cool dude in my school named kyle, he's mah' bestest friend and we chat it up before english class every day.  We chat about what we'll blog about, how his blog name is K-Unit and his blog is about skateboarding.  Our blogs are similar in that they both mention skateboarding, although my blog is more specifically about longboarding.     On the subject of longboarding, Tomorrow, I plan to go to NE Harbor after school and longboard.  I have decided that I will take pictures, "action shots" so to speak.  I promise to deliver amazing quality photographs of me longboarding. HD FOR THE WIN!!!

New Slide Gloves!!

     This weekend I went to Elsworth and bought a pair of fireman type heavy duty gloves, glue gun sticks, and  a plastic cutting board that could break a cinderblock.  When I got home, I drew out a pattern on the cutting board of the pucks I would put on the gloves.  Today, I brought the cutting board into school, brought it down to Mr. Deans's classroom, and used his band saw, and belt sander to cut and shape the pucks to perfection.  When I got home, I borrowed my neighbor's heat gun and melted hot glue into the plastic of the pucks, then stuck the pucks on the gloves.  Now I have new slide gloves!!!!

     For those of you who don't know, Slide gloves are a longboarding accessory.  They allow you to place your hands on the pavement while moving fast.  They help you gain balance, slow you down, and allow you to put weight on the pavement and off the board.  The key use of slide gloves is to allow you to lessen the weight on the board just enough that by moving your feet, you can slide the wheels against the grain across the pavement.  This not only looks awesome if done correctly, but can also save your life if a truck is barreling down the road toward you and you need to stop.

Deamon Cat In My House!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!
My neighbor's cat has no tail!!!!! And it always has this evil look on it's face!  I opened the door to get something off the porch and it snuck into my house!  About two minutes later i heard about sixty meows from the stairs, and I realized that neither of my cats meowed that much.  When I went to look, I saw a freak of nature stumbling down the stairs with a clear lack of balance.  The cat looks and acts like it need s a tail, it is always falling over when you pet it, and it has a serious meowing problem.  It meows until the cows come home!

Longboarding

Sort of a strange thing I picked up this summer was longboarding. As in riding a longboard.  First of all though... I HATE SKATEBOARDING (like on a trick board.. those little tiny things.)  One of my friends from work gave me the idea to get a longboard and I decided to do some research.  After about a month of said research and a paycheck hitting the bank, I had narrowed it down to two options.
Option One:  Arbor "Axis Koa"  

Can go REALLY REALLY FAST!!!
Turns good at high speeds
Very responsive
The koa wood looks really cool!









Option Two:  Original "Torpedo 40"             This option can carve amazingly and has completely different setup, trucks, wheels, deck shape, and grip style.


Although both have their clear advantages and disadvantages,
I went with the first one, mostly because it's made of all recycled materials.  I liked them both about even. maybe in a few years I'll purchase the other. or maybe a completely different board.
What I want to know is:  Which longboard would you chose? It doesn't matter why you chose the one you did, I just want a show of hands so to speak because even though I already made my decision, I want to see if the opinions you have, will have any effect on the decision I would have made.  Whether that be different or exactly the same.

Bunny Business!

     Is this not the funniest thing you've ever seen? I think it is anyway.  Every one of these songs will get stuck in your head for at least the rest of the day. maybe not the last couple though......
"tiny bunny briefcase.... bunny bussnisssssssssss"  Just thought I would share that with all of you!

     In other news I volunteered at the mile 2 mark for the marathon, which is probably the best mile mark to volunteer at, mostly because the people running aren't spread out yet so they go by in less than an hour.  So after that i decided to go to a friend's house, but my only method of transportation was longbording.   For those of you who don't know what a longboard is, It's a really long, really wide skateboard, with much bigger wheels.  Anyway, so I rode my longboard all the way from the Jackson Lab. to Seal Harbor.  If you've ever driven that rout, you would know that after you crest the hill just following the Tarn, there is an enormous downhill.  I thought I would only be able to go so fast because of the terrible state of my longboard's bearings.  I was wrong, I thought i was going to die, i probably went 40 or 50 mph. no exaggeration, i was almost going the speed limit.  

Post Numero Tres:

I'M SO BAD AT BLOGGING!... Like I'm turrable (tur-uh-bull) at blogging, I'm better at saying words that aren't words such as Turrable and Brohah.  I need some way to spice up my blog... so heres a list of things I could talk about and you tell me what you would prefer to read because I dont want to blog about something nobody thinks is interesting.
Option 1:
My friends and I dong stupid things (past and present. maybe some pictures and videos)
Option 2:
Things I've buit, fixed, or made extremely awesome. (such as my potato cannon. videos with fire and potatoes will be included)
Option 3:
both 1 & 2!!!
Option 39:
none of those.. just keep blogging about random things that have no relevance to anything.

you tell me! pick an option and post it as a comment!
OR THIS CAT WILL EAT YOU!!!
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Post Numero Dos:

Bink....

(This post is here to replace one that was here that was very boring)

Post Numero Uno: WAZOO!!!!

Well this will be my first blog, and i doubt i can compete with avid bloggers such as Aaron Williams Focker, But I will do my best to impress my audience.  
       The other day, when listening to a book on tape with my family, the word "Wazoo" was mentioned in the text.   When I got home i went to my laptop and opened up dictionary, after typing in the word "wazoo" I burst out laughing.  The dictionary said "Noun: Informal:  the anus. "  So for anyone who doesnt know... wazoo means exactly what it sounds like it means...
     Can I also say that root beer floats are the bomb diggs!?  Because they really are, not only are they delicious, but they seem to stimulate the brain just right for blogging because although this is not the greatest blog post in history, I'm enjoying writing it thanks to my trusty cup of foamy goodness which I am currently sipping from.
    You may also be wondering why the blog is called The Fat Chair.  The reason is that there is a chair in my house, that my cat Milo, (who weighs almost 30lbs) will sit in from dusk till' dawn without moving an inch, there will often be a cat shaped dent in his stead when he is not in the chair, as if the chair has either died from his weight, or is beckoning him back.  The Fat Chair is off limits to all people and backpacks who do not wish to be clawed to death or crushed under the massive blubberous  locomotive that is Milo.  OH! and my name is Liam, but for the sake of this being a blog and everyone wanting a different name, you will all be reading and referring to me as "Milo" whether you like it or not. and you better like it! >_<  OR ELSE!  After all, I'm the only one besides Milo who dares sit in the fat chair, and this blog being my fat chair, I believe i deserve the right to sit in it.
Hope all of you enjoyed your weekend... Or perhaps i hope all of you had an awful weekend so mine will seem reallllllyy realllyyyy funn.. or maybe I'm not the type of person to hope such things to begin with.  One thing is certain.  I don't not decide not to not write my every thought without a care of editing for worry of the reader's mental health (which could be damaged by my excessive parentheses and lack of organization, clarity, and general regard for anything grammatical) and for.... Actually I think I'm done with this post.
-------------------------Your Monsterous Amigo, Milo
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